The Daddy Diary 2: A Perfect Pair

Don’t you love how some things just belong together? Chocolate and Peanut butter. Hamburgers and French fries. A glass of red wine and another glass of red wine. One Direction concerts and boredom. Jerry Jones and unconventional grammar.

When they were handing out cuteness, my little girl got back in line 4000 times. But she wanted to prove how tough she is. So, when they were giving out heart defects, she got back in line 3 times. Anybody can beat one heart defect, but beating four takes a warrior. And who wants regular defects? Audrey supersized her order and got three of them severe. Ever heard of Ronda Rousey? Xena, the Warrior Princess? Every female superhero in the Marvel Universe? Sissies.

Audrey has Meek blood. My grandmother’s maiden name was Meek. It’s the biggest misnomer in the history of mankind. Ain’t nothing meek about these women. Meek women can take the head off a snake with a garden hoe in 3 seconds flat. They have intellectual debates such as “What is the best way to kill a chicken? Just cut the head off, or wring its neck first?” Rumor has it that a Meek woman once gave birth to triplets – all at the same time. I can’t confirm if that’s true, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

Don’t think ridiculously cute and extremely tough go together? Watch and learn, people. Watch and learn.

I hope her toughness is contagious. I’m going to need more than I’ve got. I haven’t shed this many tears since Clay Aiken lost to Ruben Studdard on American Idol Season 2. Unfortunately for all of you, her cuteness is not contagious. I still look the same.

Editor’s note: After reading the draft, Michelle pointed out that she does also get toughness from her side as well. Now, having met my wife and her female lineage, that seemed like an unnecessary clarification – though some might call that particular variety “stubbornness.”