Have You Met Ted?

“Be curious, not judgmental.” – Ted Lasso quoting someone that may or may not have been Walt Whitman.

Saying “I love watching Ted Lasso” is about as original as saying “I love breathing oxygen.” For my money, the cost of Apple TV is worth it just for this show. One of my favorite scenes from Ted Lasso, if not all of television, is the darts scene from season one. I’ll skip the details to avoid a spoiler alert for those unfortunate souls who haven’t seen the show. During the scene, he quotes Walt Whitman, “Be curious, not judgmental” when talking about the people who have underestimated him. Whether or not Walt wrote those words is irrelevant. It is something that I need to hear every day. Whenever I’m flipping channels and nothing interesting is on, I’ll pull up Apple TV and watch that scene again. Even though I’ve seen it dozens of times now, it still punches me in the gut every single time because it makes me realize something about myself.

I judge people all the time. Driving really slowly and holding up traffic? Consider yourself judged. Writing a check for groceries when you are in the check out line in front of me? Consider yourself judged. Walking around Wal-Mart with your underwear on the outside of your pants? Consider yourself judged. A bartender who can’t properly pour a Guinness? Consider yourself judged.

Maybe I should be more curious, or at least give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe that person is driving slowly because they just got some bad news that they can barely stomach and they are trying to find a way to cope while they are driving home. Maybe the person in front of me in line had her purse stolen and couldn’t wait to get a replacement card because her children are hungry now. Maybe that guy in Wal-Mart is a cutting-edge fashion designer displaying the hottest trend in Milan. Ok, probably not, but who am I to judge? As for the bartender? I will continue to judge you. Honor your craft, pal.

The fact is that I have no idea what is going on in the life of the people that I’ve been judging. Maybe that surly customer service rep just found out that they are getting divorced. Maybe the guy who cut me off is trying to get to the hospital to see a loved one. When I lived in Downtown Dallas, I used to jog every morning and pass dozens of homeless people. I just assumed they were unmotivated and didn’t want to work. At least that is the thought that ran through my mind as I ran by them. It turns out that isn’t true. I’ve learned that most homeless people have mental illness and/or addiction problems. I’m lucky because I never had either of those. If I did, I might have been sleeping right next to them.

I used to think that everybody who rides a scooter around the store is just plain lazy. I thought that way until my dad got Parkinson’s and had to use a scooter. Now when I see someone riding around on a scooter, I just picture my dad. The scooter was a blow to his pride, and he would’ve walked if he could have, so I’m going to try to assume that everybody else riding one is living a similar story.

I still get mad at somebody driving too slowly even after I see the handicap sticker. I don’t know if Audrey will ever be able to drive. If she does, she will probably need that sticker, and she will probably have to drive slowly because her reaction time will probably be slower than normal. She, like everyone else who has that sticker on their car, has as much right to the road as me. I have to remind myself of that every day.

Thank you, Ted and Audrey, for reminding me that I need to be a better person.

P.S. In case you are curious, I totally suck at darts.