Ten minutes

Think about what you can accomplish in just 10 minutes.

You can dance the Wobble 1.8 times.

You can make ten batches of minute rice.

You could listen to the Macarena twice and still have one minute and forty-two seconds left to wonder how that song reaching #1 didn’t lead to the complete downfall of humanity as we know it.

(Note: If you are really in a hurry, you could make the minute rice while listening to the Macarena.)

You can stop and count all the politicians you truly admire and have ten minutes left to scroll through Twitter.

Or you could foster a relationship.

I recently read a book about parenting (I’m going to figure this out eventually) that gave tips on how to prevent tantrums. The book left out the best method which is simply to not have children, but what fun would that be? I would miss out on the best parts of my day, which are the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the hall to my desk every morning followed by a good morning hug and Audrey’s giggles every time we sit her in her chair for breakfast. I don’t know what she finds so funny, but I know that there is no better way to start a day than with giggles and hugs. They are worth putting up with the occasional tantrum. Not wanting children because of tantrums would be like not wanting a Bentley because of a little door ding.

The book mentioned that most tantrums are born out of two needs of children – control and attention. The reason a lack of control and attention causes tantrums is simple, the children are becoming mature people. People simply want control and attention. Control is fairly easy. We can do that by letting Ella pick out her own clothes to wear. You may laugh at some of her choices, but she will have the last laugh when the two-piece swimsuit/tutu/Uggs combo sweeps across the globe and becomes the fashion craze of the century.

For the attention piece, the book says you need to spend ten minutes alone interacting with your child, preferably twice a day, but at least once. My first thought was that this happens naturally, so it wouldn’t be an issue. Until I started timing my interactions with Ella and Audrey. I get so distracted around the three-minute mark, that I find myself mentally distracted by some non-essential task, thinking about something I have to do for work, or reaching for my phone. I think modern technology has reduced my attention span to approximately .0003 seconds. It’s sad, really.

It’s sad because my girls are so much fun, and ten minutes with them easily turns into thirty minutes because time does fly when you are having fun.

I have friends that live nearby but I rarely see them because I say “They’re close. I could see them anytime.” Anytime never magically happens. Intentionality goes a long way in relationships. Nothing just happens naturally. This principle probably works for all relationships. I’m sure there are many times Michelle and I went an entire day and didn’t interact for ten minutes. What’s the big deal, I see her every day, right? The adult complications don’t manifest themselves in tantrums, but it is probably no less damaging when you don’t invest in relationships. I think the concept of “quality time” is complete crap. Any time spent together is quality. Quantity is more important.

I once heard a preacher say in a sermon that all he has to do to find out what is important to someone is look at their calendar. Where they spend their time is what’s important to them. I think about that sermon a lot, especially when I look back on a day that I didn’t spend at least ten minutes with each of my girls. What could possibly be more important than them? Look at your calendar. It’s that simple. I think everyone would say that their children, their spouse, and their friends are important to them, but if you can’t spend time with them, are they really that important to you?

So, if you will excuse me, I’m going to cut this post short because I hear the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the hall.