You Gotta Know When To Fold ‘Em

I read this article in the Dallas Morning News a couple of weeks ago.

https://edition.pagesuite.com/infinity/article_popover_share.aspx?guid=b137bcf5-a23b-455f-976c-7297f291cc14

No need to fret if the link doesn’t work.
The article discusses how the birth rate in the U.S. is declining. Several of the people interviewed cite global issues like the economy and climate change for not having children.

I’ve heard this argument before. The cynical side of me says these people are saying this because they simply don’t want children and use external factors to give them justification for their decision.  It makes them sound like they are doing a favor for the unborn child. “Why would I bring a child into a world like this?”

Believe me, I get it. Society seems to look down on you and deem your life incomplete if you don’t have a family. I didn’t have children until much later than most people, and I can’t begin to count the number of times someone asked me, “When are you getting married and having kids?”

If someone genuinely did not want to have children, I would tell them please don’t give in to peer pressure – don’t have children. Despite what society might tell you, being a parent isn’t for everybody.  Raising a child is not a take-it-or-leave-it proposition. You have to be all-in or all-out. So, if someone has personal reasons or preferences for not having children, no judgment from me.

Here’s my problem with using external factors like climate change to justify not having children – you can make this argument for any year in human history. Try to find a specific year when you couldn’t throw out a litany of reasons to be pessimistic about the future.

Humankind has survived much worse, and we still find a way to keep evolving and increasing our standard of living. People were having babies during the Bubonic plague, famines, natural disasters, and world wars.  We have persevered through very difficult times.  We even survived the 14 weeks when the Macarena was #1 on the Billboard charts.  We can survive this.  I’m not saying today’s issues aren’t concerning, I’m just saying we will find a way to prosper.  It might not be easy, but we will.  And your children will do just fine.

I can look at my own parents as an example. They decided to have their first
child in the late 1960s. What an optimistic time in human history to have a
child:

·        We had the Six-Day War in the Middle East

·        The U.S. was mired in the Vietnam War. In fact,
LBJ just asked for a 6% increase in taxes to support the Vietnam War. That’s
how great the war effort was going.

·        There were race riots in Cleveland, Detroit, and
Newark.

·        China tests its first hydrogen bomb.

I could go on.

Good times, huh?

Despite all that, they decided to bring a child into that world.  And then my parents decided to have another child (they weren’t aiming for two, but they got lucky) in the early ’70s when things were looking so much better.

·        The Pentagon Papers were published proving that
the U.S. government had been lying to the American people. We also had the Kent
State massacre. Things were definitely getting better in Vietnam.

·        President Nixon declared a “War on Drugs” because the drug culture in our country was out of control.

·        And worst of all, the Beatles broke up. Who in their right mind would bring a child into a world where the Beatles weren’t topping the charts?

When speaking to people like those interviewed in the article, I won’t even discuss the geopolitical ramifications of a country having a declining population or the hypothetical “but your kid might be the one who solves the climate change issues and saves the planet.” No, I would just tell them that my life became infinitely better after I became a dad. Not easier, not less stressful, but infinitely better.  There are numerous ways in which my life improved after becoming a dad, but it would take an entire book to list them all.

I don’t know any people who regret having children.  I’m sure some people do, but my guess is the regret is due to personal reasons and not global warming.

So, I would just tell those people, I see your inflation and climate change, and I’ll raise you an Ella and an Audrey. You might want to fold if you know what’s good for you.  No hand can beat this pair.