If Memory Serves . . . or Not

Twice last week, Ella asked if I would bring a stuffy (stuffed animal for those who don’t have kids under 6) when I picked her up from school.  Both times I said I would, and both times I forgot.  I seem to strive daily to uphold the time-honored tradition of disappointing your children.  So, today I wrote “Bring stuffy” in my calendar because that was the only way to ensure that I wouldn’t disappoint my daughter..

I used to have a steel trap memory, but I couldn’t tell you what I had for breakfast this morning.  Part of my memory loss is because I’m getting older, and part is because I don’t have to remember anything.  The latter part of that statement is what scares me.  Technology does all the memory work for me.  Neuroplasticity has proven that areas of the brain that get continual use actually grow.  During use, the brain forms synaptic connections that cause that part of the brain to grow.  I’m afraid the memory part of my brain has shrunk like George Costanza’s private parts in a cold swimming pool. 

My iPhone has stored all the phone numbers of people I call.  I know a total of three phone numbers.  That’s it.  Three.  I know the number for my cell phone, the number for Michelle’s cell phone, and the number for the Hall and Oates Hotline.  It’s a thing.  You can look it up.  Somehow I still know the home phone number we had growing up, but I couldn’t tell you my office phone number without looking at my business card. 

If phone numbers are hard to remember, forget about passwords.  Google Chrome has memorized all my passwords so I don’t have to.  When I try to sign in to a website, it always gives me several options just to insult me. 

Sign in with Email

Sign in with Facebook

Sign in with Twitter

Sign in with Google

As if I have any of these passwords memorized. They might as well ask me to sign in with my sixth-grade locker combination.

I know that there are benefits to technology, but making me smarter apparently isn’t one of them.  

If I meet someone socially, there is a 98% chance that I will forget their name within seven seconds of hearing it.  Yes, I’ve read all the books about memory and how to remember people’s names. You are supposed to say their name several times immediately after meeting them.  This might increase my memory of their name from seven to fifteen seconds.  Or, you are supposed to visualize their name and tie it to their face to let visual memory help you to remember their name.  I just find myself going, “I know that face.  That looks exactly like the person whose name I can’t remember.” 

This probably won’t get better, so I hope they make an app to help me remember my daughters’ names.  I know I wrote their names down on a Post-it note, but I can’t remember where I put it.

If you read this post and forget everything I said, I won’t judge you.  I probably won’t remember that I wrote it.