The Ecstasy of Defeat

My Dad hated to lose. He was a gifted athlete and a fierce competitor. It wasn’t until I was 15 years old that I beat him in an athletic competition. Maybe I chose to play tennis because I thought that would be the only sport in which I could ever beat him. I never could have beaten my dad at any sport if we were both in our primes at the same time, but Father Time is undefeated. My Dad talked trash the entire match, but his 40-plus years and two bad knees were no match for me. As intense a competitor as he was, he didn’t seem upset at all when I beat him, and now I understand why.

Every parent knows there will come a time when your child is better than you in an area where you excel. And that feeling of defeat contains more pride than disappointment.

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Even though I was never a great athlete, my children will never surpass me athletically. While none of us kids were gifted with Dad’s athleticism, we were gifted with Mom’s academic ability. We may not be the fastest or strongest, but there is one thing we can do well – memorize.

We could tell early on that Ella was gifted academically. Last year, she asked me out of the blue, “Daddy, what is a genius?”

“Why do you ask sweetheart?” I replied.

“My teacher said she thinks I might be a genius.”

I hope somewhere in the Plano ISD curriculum, there is a class on ego management.

Last night, Ella called down from upstairs, “Daddy, do you want to play a game with me?” That question needs no answer. It’s like my own personal Bat Signal. If you send it, I will come. I walked into her room and saw that she had laid out a concentration game where each player turns over cards and finds the matches. As soon I saw the game, I figured this would be a chance to teach my little girl a lesson in humility. She walked right into Daddy’s wheelhouse.

Now I know how the 1980 Soviet Olympic hockey team must have felt.

I knew there was a good chance that Ella would be smarter than me someday, I just didn’t think that day would come when she was six years old.

It was the first time in my life that I took joy in losing.