24 Observations in 2024

The great 20th-century philosopher Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” Well, I stopped and looked around this year. I noticed a few things:

1. Every time I am in the left turn lane, I get the turn signal at the end of the green light. Every time I’m going straight through an intersection, the left turn lane gets the turn signal at the beginning of the green light.
2. Every time I get a bad feeling about something, I’m usually right.
3. The more I pay for something, the less I enjoy it. The less I pay for something, the more I enjoy it.
4. I have had a Great Pyrenees for three years, and I still can’t spell Pyrenees without the help of spell check.
5. The battery on my iPhone starts to die at the exact same time that the newest model is announced.
6. When I am in the right lane and will be turning right at the red light, if someone cuts me off and pulls over into the right lane in front of me, he will not be turning right on red.
7. There is no bigger feeling of defeat than realizing that the item I want to buy at Home Depot is locked behind one of those cages because the odds of finding an employee who knows the combination and is willing to help me are the same odds as spotting Bigfoot while simultaneously watching Jerry Jones make a trade that benefits the Cowboys.
8. The world was a better place when TV shows had theme songs.
9. Walking your dog is the best way to meet your neighbors.
10. Disney could charge me $5000 monthly for their streaming service, and I would still have to pay it because I have two small children. Please do not forward this post to Bob Iger lest he get any crazy ideas.
11. In complete contrast to observation #3, the ridiculous amount of money we paid for the Roomba that both vacuums and mops was totally worth it.
12. The deaf community is the finest group of people you will ever meet.
13. Special ed teachers are not paid nearly enough. (Note: All teachers are not paid nearly enough).
14. Dr. Suess was probably dropping acid while he wrote his books, and I have no problem with that.
15. Accidentally taking a Melatonin tablet instead of your multivitamin is a terrible way to start your day.
16. Batteries in smoke detectors only die at 2:30 am, never 2:30 pm.
17. If this trend continues, by the end of this decade, people will begin putting up their Christmas decorations on December 26th of the previous year.
18. Jokes about people who ride the short bus aren’t funny when your child rides the short bus.
19. Simply weighing my food before I eat was a pretty simple way to lose weight because apparently, I have the appetite of a teenage male bison. (BTW, I’m down 13 pounds and counting).
20. I don’t get nearly as much junk mail as I used to. I’m sure it’s all going to my spam folder now. Speaking of spam, I think every time you click “Unsubscribe” to an email, you automatically get 10 new spam emails.
21. Nobody driving on the service road yields to the offramp anymore.
22. Whenever a preacher says he heard God speak to him directly, he usually follows that sentence by asking for money.
23. Not to discount talent and hard work, but when it comes to achieving success, nothing beats being in the right place at the right time. I learned this through observation, not personal experience.
24. There is no greater joy in life than having a front-row seat to watch a child grow up.