My Christmas Wish

Dear Santa,

I do not want any material items for Christmas this year, but I have a few requests. The list is fairly long, but you don’t get anything unless you ask, right? I realize that you are not a genie and many of these are beyond your pay grade, but you seem like a popular guy, so I would appreciate it if you would look through your LinkedIn contacts to find the capable parties and make the following requests for me.

I wish:

That our country can come together and stand as one, united in our firm conviction that the left lane is for passing only.

That Harry Potter and Dr. Oz can work together to come up with a solution so a man in his fifties can have six-pack abs without giving up beer.

That I can make enough money to ensure that Audrey will always be provided for financially after I am gone.

That a brilliant group of scientists will use their collective brainpower to change the molecular structure of Peanut M&Ms allowing them to have the same taste but with the nutritional value of broccoli.

That Ella will never stop amazing me with how smart she is.

That Pluto will be considered a planet again.

That Ella will never get tired of giving me hugs.

That all the women in the world will stand up and proclaim that there is nothing sexier than a middle-aged man chauffeuring two small children around in a minivan.

That a monumental medical breakthrough will finally find a cure for the most damaging physical ailment in human society – male pattern baldness.

That Audrey will never get tired of giving me hugs.

That Ella’s ballet teacher will set this year’s dance recital to Van Halen’s Greatest Hits.

That at least one politician will present a reasonable solution to a problem currently facing our country instead of simply blaming the opposing political party for causing all things evil in the world.

That my dog will not start barking whenever someone walks within 50 yards of our house.

That the Marvel Cinematic Universe will release a movie with the most powerful superhero ever– Meetings Man.  He has the ability to conquer all his enemies and villains by using his superpower of forcing them to sit in a company staff meeting until they lose the will to live and drop dead on the spot.

That Billy Joel will release another album.

That people will get as excited to go to church as they are to a football game. (Who says you can’t tailgate before a church service)?

That my baby girl will be able to say “Daddy” with her voice someday.

Sincerely,

Andy Hunt