The New Normal

Normal: “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern: characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine” – Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary

“Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.” – My cousin Craig

I’ve been asked a few times if I ever wish I had a normal life. The short answer is “No.” For the extended answer, keep reading.

When Michelle and I decided to have a second child, we had Ella as a frame of reference. We thought everything would be the same with Audrey. Normal.

All the books on parenting read like a pseudo-playbook for me. It listed all the things I was supposed to do as a parent and all the things I could expect to happen with my child.

We threw that playbook out before we brought Audrey home from the hospital. And here’s the thing, I hardly ever think about it.

Normal. I don’t even know what that word means anymore. I think my life is normal, it’s just that my definition is different from those who have asked me if I wish I had a normal life.

We have a routine with Audrey that is different from other parents. But then again, our routine with Ella is probably different from other parents.

Everybody has a routine to put their children down for bed. So do we, it just takes us a little longer. There are pills, shots, and getting her back into her torso brace before we put her in her bed. And I don’t even think about it.

I’m still changing diapers even though Audrey is five. And I will probably be changing diapers for several more years. And I don’t even think about it.

When we pack Audrey’s things for school, we have to pack a few more things than we do for Ella. And I don’t even think about it.

When we sit down to dinner we have to fill Audrey’s feeding pump with water to make sure she gets enough fluids for the day. And I don’t even think about it.

I probably have to do several other things for Audrey that are so commonplace for me that I couldn’t even think of them to write them down.

95% of the time, I don’t think about Audrey’s disabilities. Everything we have to do for her is just a part of our normal routine. I just think about how cute and funny she is. We’ll talk about the other 5% next time.

This is all normal to me. And I wouldn’t trade my normal for anyone else’s.

Craig was right. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary was wrong.