54 on 54

Posted on April 25, 2026 by

1 Comment

I turn 54 today. Here are 54 thoughts, learnings, observations, and questions about my first 54 years.

  1. I despise any household project that requires the use of an Allen wrench
  2. I am cold. All the time. 15 years ago, I ran the New York Marathon when it was 32 degrees. I wore a tank top. Now, when I go for a run, and it’s below 60 degrees, I dress like an Astronaut.
  3. I hope everyone finds something in their life that gets them as excited as my dog gets when I grab the leash to take her on a walk.
  4. Nothing makes my heart smile more than seeing my two girls engaged in a tickle fight.
  5. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came.
  6. Whoever invented the burpee should have named them throwupees because I feel like puking before, during, and after doing them.
  7. I love Microsoft Excel.
  8. I hate Microsoft Word.
  9. I am completely convinced that clicking “Unsubscribe” from an email automatically puts you on 30 other spam lists.
  10. I can remember my locker combination from sixth grade (9-27-2), but I cannot remember a single phone number other than mine.
  11. The grossest place in the world is the area between a child’s car seat and the seat of the car.
  12. It feels like the last adult movie I saw in a movie theater was Wayne’s World 2.
  13. I can’t remember the last time I purchased something at a mall.
  14. I can remember just about every song lyric from every Top 40 Hit of the 1980s, but I cannot remember a single password, including the ones I updated today.
  15. Legos are much more complex and expensive than when I was a kid.
  16. If I had to do it all over again, I would take more pictures.
  17. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
  18. Every time I read about a business person who committed fraud and stole millions of dollars, the article always includes the phrase “to fund a lavish lifestyle.” It never includes the phrase “to build orphanages.”
  19. I can’t hear “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy without picturing Chris Farley as a Chippendale’s dancer.
  20. I won the child lottery. Twice
  21. The first time I saw a Tesla Cybertruck, I thought it would grow on me. Nope, it’s still ugly.
  22. Did the first person who put salt and pepper together realize at that time that they were creating the official seasoning for the rest of mankind?
  23. My two girls collectively have 24,781 socks. Four of them have matches.
  24. If I came across a Genie who gave me the choice of never having allergies again or 80 bajillion dollars, I think I might pass on the money.
  25. I would’ve broken rules 1, 2, and 8 of Fight Club.
  26. If you aren’t dealing with your personal issues, do you know who is dealing with them? Everyone around you.
  27. I have read six books on parenting. Not one of them mentioned that parenting means spending half your life loading and unloading the dishwasher.
  28. Christopher Cross was correct. When you do find yourself caught between the moon and New York City, the best that you can do is to fall in love.
  29. Whataburger hasn’t been the same ever since they sold the company to a private equity firm.
  30. Whenever someone is asked for their favorite passage from the Bible, I’ve never heard anyone throw out a verse from Habakkuk.
  31. Snow days are much more fun when you have little kids.
  32. Father Time is undefeated.
  33. “Daddy, why did the other kids use their sheet music? Why didn’t they memorize their piece like I did?”  Yes, my daughter talks trash at a piano recital.
  34. The older I get, the less I care about the Super Bowl.
  35. I still don’t understand how a blockchain works.
  36. Watching a child learn is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.
  37. I’m a little offended that the salt and pepper shakers that I bought for the kitchen were listed at Amazon as “Birthday gifts for Women.”
  38. Out of all the happy hours and networking events I have attended in my life, I have made more personal contacts by walking my dog.
  39. It appalls me that members of Congress can get rich by insider trading in stocks.
  40. The first person to eat an oyster on the halfshell was either really hungry or lost a dare.
  41. I still get nervous every time I have to jump somebody’s car battery.
  42. Tom Petty was right. The waiting is the hardest part.
  43. The best thing about an election cycle being over is that politicians stop texting me.
  44. I still don’t know what Meatloaf won’t do for love.    
  45.  I finally sent my favorite jeans to Goodwill because I realized that short of having a month-long stomach virus, I was never going to fit into them again.
  46. I’m learning more from Audrey than she will ever learn from me.
  47. Ella’s four food groups are: Chicken Nuggets, Mac and Cheese, Pizza, and Dessert.
  48. Audrey’s four food groups are: Mac and Cheese, Spaghetti, Mac and Cheese, and Mac and Cheese.
  49. I can already tell that I’m going to be a complete basket case when my kids go off to college.
  50. I still get pumped every time I hear the theme song to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
  51. After I get over my jealousy of seeing pictures online of ripped guys in their 50s and 60s, I remind myself that those guys either don’t have jobs or children, and haven’t eaten a carb since the late 80s.
  52. I heard another parent complain that ever since she had kids, she hasn’t had a moment of peace to herself.  Not judging, but given the choice between peace and parenthood, I’ll take parenthood every time.
  53.  I’m fully aware that my answer to the previous question is because I have two amazing children.
  54. I had one more observation, but I forgot it. This happens a lot when you are 54.

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One Comment on “54 on 54”

  1. Andy,

    I never cease to be amazed by your wit and humor in addition to how full of wisdom your thoughts are. I still think compiling all of your posts into a book format would make you a best-selling author in a heartbeat! I realize you don’t write to obtain fame and fortune, but rather to pen a fabulous, unending love-letter to your amazing wife and precious daughters as you process your personal experiences and emotions wrapped up in being a loving husband and father. Thank you for allowing me and the rest of your followers to come along on this epic journey with you and your family!

    God’s peace and blessings be with you and yours always….

    With love, Connie Kilday

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